The Miracle of Birth

26 weeks

We took part in our first hospital class last night titled "The Miracle of Birth." It wasn't quite so miraculous but a good introduction to the hospital I'll be delivering at and a good refresher of sorts to all the research I have been doing.

Prior to our class, Joe was pretty much dreading the whole thing. It's no secret that I am basically forcing him to take these classes but since most of them are free, I think it would be idiotic not to take them. Joe thought he would be one of the few guys in the room when in reality, there were only two single* mothers out of a class of about 50 people. (*I don't know that they were single, but since they were without a partner, I will assume that.*)

The setup of the room made me feel like we were back taking PreCana classes to prepare for our wedding. Rows of tables and chairs all facing one direction, with a big projector screen displaying a PowerPoint presentation. Our instruction, Robin, is one of the L&D nurses at Memorial. Before I started writing this, I asked Joe if he had any input. His only comment was that Robin was very bubbly (but also that she sure knew how to demonstrate labor positions well. I find this strangely humorous for some reason. I guess the hands and knee position had an impact on him?) Anyways, back to Robin, she was bubbly. She joked with us that her family and friends say she is not short on conversation skills.....This girl likes to talk. She made you (me anyway) feel comfortable so I wouldn't be upset if she were one of our nurses.

Our first task of the class was to go around and do that lame introduction thing. I hadn't missed this from college but at least we didn't have to name one random thing about ourselves or a unique quality. As each couple was going around the room, Joe leaned into me and said I had to do the talking. Ha! That husband of mine sure doesn't like to speak in front of a crowd, which I find so fascinating because he can pretty much have a conversation with anyone about anything for hours.

Based on the title, we figured the main topic of our two hour class would be on childbirth. Most of it was what I would consider pretty common sense stuff. We discussed preterm labor and the signs that come along with it. Obviously something like my water breaking would warrant a trip to L&D, but she also discussed what the hospital prefers we do, should I have any other signs of labor. An example: if contractions start and I can still talk, walk and smile through them, I should stay at home. Until they become unbearable, I should stay home and try to relax, eat and hydrate as much as possible. I'm sure you're thinking, well...duh, but it's good to know what the hospital itself prefers that we do. This whole pregnancy is total mind-F and second guessing oneself is pretty much mandatory so I liked to hear it from them.

Timing contractions was another topic that I was glad we went through. Prior to the class, I never really thought about the correct procedure to time contractions. I knew that one of the key factors was to time them before coming to the hospital but knowing exactly how to do that had slipped my mind. One would think that the correct way to time contractions would be to start the clock when one started and stop the clock when it ended, rinse and repeat. Or it could be that you start the clock as soon as a contraction ends and then stop it when one begins to get the time between each contraction. In reality, the doctors and nurses will need to know how far apart the contractions are, not the length of each individual contraction. So, when a contraction begins, the clock starts and it doesn't stop until the next contraction begins. For example: Contraction #1 starts at 5:00pm. It lasts for 45 seconds and stops. You wait and at 5:05pm, Contraction #2 begins. This means that the contractions are timed 5 minutes apart. Once we got that down, Robin told us that the hospital would prefer we time contractions for a full hour and until they are about 5 minutes apart, we are to stay home. Obviously, if my water breaks or if I'm feeling dizzy, have fuzzy vision or strong chests pains, then we should come to the hospital anyway.

After our talk on pre-term labor, we went through the signs of early labor as well as active labor. All pretty self explanatory stuff. Robin did mention that all the doctors will allow ice chips or popsicles during labor but no food. A select few will allow clear fluids and that we should talk to our individual doctors to see if that was something he/she would allow. (I made a mental note to ask Dr. Bennett at my next visit because I can imagine that water would be a much needed thing during labor.) It was this type of information that really made me happy we signed up for this class. Had we not, I wouldn't know what their policies were.

A few other policies that Robin informed us about were the ways in which they monitor Mom and Baby during labor. I thought this would be something we would discuss in our lamaze class (later this month) but was very happy that she brought it up as it has been a concern of mine. First, I will have a external belly monitor which tracks any contractions that I may be having. It's a simple circular belt that velcroes around and is plugged into the monitor beside my bed. There is a similar monitor that will measure the babies heart rate. The best part about these monitors is that they can be removed easily if I want to move around, walk or use the bathroom. If all is going smoothly, I can unplug them at my discretion...within reason obviously. One of my biggest fears about labor has been that I would be hooked up to all these wires and practically chained to my bed so it was good to hear that I can still have some flexibility. Robin also introduced a fear of mine in the dreaded Internal monitor. I knew I hated them prior to the class, but I may hate them even more after seeing them in person. The first type is almost like a catheter that is inserted and lies against my uterus. The reasoning behind this type of monitor is that it is much more sensitive and can pick up the intensity and frequency of contractions better than the externals can. Makes sense but if you saw this thing, trust me you wouldn't want it shoved up there. It's basically a big plastic stick, the size of my arm that sticks out and gets taped to the inside of your leg. Um....no thank you. Luckily, this monitor will only come into play if the external monitors are not registering as well as the hospital would like. Please, oh, please let me avoid having to deal with this. BUT, we have a second type of internal monitor which makes me pretty sick to my stomach to even think about, let alone contemplate having to deal with it. This monitor is designed to attach to the baby to have an even better reading of the heart rate. Now when I say attach, I mean it clips to the babies head. The end of it is shaped like the end of a screw and it is TWISTED into the skull. I'm serious. It's almost like a paper clip that has been unraveled but then twisted again to form a circle. This thin metal part is what is screwed into the top of the head. Robin assured us that it usually doesn't leave a mark and is safe but I AM NOT OKAY WITH THIS.

No.

It's not happening.

Yes, hospitals use it every day and most moms have no idea what it even is, but I do and I can't be okay with it. I'm not going to get myself worked up over the possibility of it though because it might not be necessary. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

::calming down::

Moving on to pain management. I'm not going to get into my thoughts on epidurals and such just yet but part of this class was to go over the procedure of getting and dealing with the epidural.

I'm getting a bit ahead of myself though. Robin brought up pain management and one of Memorial's preferences is that the mother try to wait until 4 cm to get the epidural. Prior to that, they do offer a few pain meds, if we so choose. (Danni, I hope you are reading this because I could use some insight on one of the narcotics, Nubain. Any thoughts? Possible side effects?) She discussed possible side effects of the epidural (Scary!), how fast it takes to work, and so on. Obviously, with an epidural, mobility is non-existant. A catheter is mandatory and the mother is also required (I really want to use the word subjected but I won't) to lay at a 15deg angle and switch positions from side to side frequently so as not to localize the drug. Fun stuff. The class was very pro-epidural if you know what I mean.

Next up on the agenda were C-sections. Although this is something that I hope to stay far far away from, I'm glad it was presented in class. I have been trying to stay open minded as much as possible about all things childbirth but I've found myself steering clear of this topic. I just really really don't want one, but that topic can be discussed at a later date. Anyways, we went through the possibilities of a C-section and why they occur. Reasons like the baby being breach, the cord being wrapped around the neck, placental abruption/pre-e (please no!) are all factors. The crappy part is that almost all the reasons are not under my control and that is something that I really dislike. It was good to hear though just in case.

To wrap up the miraculous birth class, we were able to witness a miraculous birth. No, not in person, on video. Before our class even started, Robin warned us that we would be watching this video and that it does not warn you before it basically gives you the full crotch shot. I didn't think the video was so bad though. To me, it was like a normal episode of A Baby Story except that we got to see the goods. Whatever. I joked to Joe that this would be the second birth that we've experienced together since our first viewing of a similar video happened 10 years ago, our sophomore year in high school. I can still picture Joe sitting two rows over and 3 seats back in Ms. Rasmussen's health class. (Yes, I really remember that. I was the second seat on the far left of the room and he was in the center back.)

All in all, a good class. I thought it would be more eye opening for Joe but he said it was pretty much like he anticipated. Next weeks class is "Taking Care of You." It should be another doozy!


Um, yeah. This was long. But I figure we will never take this class again and if/when we have baby #2, I'm gonna want something to reference as a refresher of sorts. Hope you enjoyed it.